duhhhh, debbie!

i've realized that there's nothing i can do but live MY life.
so that's exactly what's going to happen! join me if it suits you.
& if it doesn't suit you? find someone's life who will.


♥

"in for the kill" by la roux ♥

We can fight our desires
But when we start making fires
We get ever so hot
Whether we like it or not
They say we can love who we trust
But what is love without lust?
Two hearts with accurate devotions
And what are feelings without emotions?

I'm going in for the kill
I'm doing it for a thrill
Oh I'm hoping you'll understand
And not let go of my hand

I hang my hopes out on the line
Will they be ready for you in time?
If you leave them out too long
They'll be withered by the sun
Full stops and exclamation marks
My words stumble before I start
How far can you send emotions?
Can this bridge cross the ocean?

I'm going in for the kill
I'm doing it for a thrill
Oh I'm hoping you'll understand
And not let go of my hand

Let's go to war
To make peace
Let's be cold
To create heat
I hope in darkness
We can see
And you're not blinded by the light from me

I'm going in for the kill
I'm doing it for a thrill
Oh I'm hoping you'll understand
And not let go of my hand

my playlist lately:

drake's comback season.
cole's the warm up.
mickey factz' the leak vol. 1 & 2.
west's 808s & heartbreak.
& la roux (la roux).

that is all for now.

think before you speak..

kus a lot of people don't.
i mean, i guess i don't have anything here in RI either.
ouch!


freak it.

K.I.T.

stands for "keep in touch",
right?


wrong.

sippen on coke & rummm, i'm like so what i'm drunk!

cap'n morg hits theeee spot on nights like these.

this shit has me feeling so lovely.

good day with the fam.

makes up for shit i guess.

i still don't know how to feel.
i usually just resort back to tears.

but tonight will be my 1st night.

of...
not thinking.

or pretending i'm not thinking.

a wise man told me..

"momo's marry momo's.
that's momo law,
duhhh"..

simple as that.
i'm hoping this law isn't up for change.
unless there's an improvement,
or better version of it.
 
 
♥

what happens when you stop caring?

pachangas.

brain

overload.
i can't fucking deal.

i swear i'm never satisfied.

even after two great nights in a row,
i just wanna ball my eyes out.
something's missing.
no point in going looking for it tho.
it's just gonna make me feel worse.



i'm going to a wedding today.
i get to watch people be in love..............

PSA

someone called me a "love rebel" the other day.
i guess i am a love sick puppy, huh? oh well lol.
i'm fine tho, for all my loves who are saying i sound depressed.
i have this blog, & you guys to pour my heart out to!
so do not fret...
I'M STILL MOTHER FKN Debbie Cakes >B]

xoxo.

P.S. I'm in a swimsuit fashion show for Illwear Fashion co.
tonight in Boston. Blog to follow! Wish me luck :D
♥

i just can't explain this shit at all..

Can I, Can I...

Save you, from you?

'Cause you know there's something missin,

& that champagne you've been sippin is not suppost to make you different over time!

It's starting to feel, like the wrong thing to do..
'Cause with all that recognition

it gets hard for you to listen to the things that imma say to make you mine!

But live boy, have some fun boy..

we'll be fine.

Trying to convince myself I found one,

Making a mistake I never learn from.

I swear,

I always fall for your type,

for your type.

Tell me why I always fall for your type!

yeah oooh ooh,

for your type..

I just can't explain this shit at all.
I believe in people like you.

"fall for your type" - listen here!

i freaking love this song lol

can't stop listening to it :)

*sigh

i watched Eclipse (♥) today for the second time again.
the ending really gets me all mushhhhhy.
even though it's one of the saddest scenes in the movie,
it happens to be one of my most favorite.
because it is so true in my case..

jacob had just gotten FUCKED up fighting to protect Bella.
he could barely move, but somehow still had the strength to talk.
this kid tries so hard to talk her out of becoming a vampire.
bella goes: "you know i love you."
& jacob replies: "you know how much i wish it was enough."


end, almost lol. :'(

i love too hard..

i think that's what scares them away.

ever feel like the world is against you,

when it's really only yourself?
i've been feeling like this for some odd days now.
i haven't felt like this since.. high school maybe.
rough times, sheesh.
it's crazy how much money (& people) can a affect a person.
Nordstrom emailed me today.
they wana do a phone screening.
hopefully i get the job, God knows i need it.
kus no one else is gona pay this $300 security deposit for school.
and no one else is gona pay my phonebill,
or update my wardrobe weekly.
i have a problem, i know.

i wonder what these next two months are going to be like.
i miss you, Boston.

A quote.

"This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is YOU get to decide HOW you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up becuase if you give up, you'll never find your soul mate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."


— Marilyn Monroe

you're not in love silly goose!

who you tryna fool?

better late than never, but never late is better..

there is a consequence for everything you do in life.
whether it be positive or negative.
make wise choices,
so you don't have to look back & ask yourself:
what could i have done better?

but i thought love came naturally?

isn't it supposed to continue when you're miles away,
not just when you're in front of me?
i look forward to talking to you every single day.

why don't you feel the same?

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.


in order to keep somebody around,
you hafto show them that you take a strong liking in them.
the minute you stop showing interest,
that is the minute you begin losing them.
i like to feel like i am apart of you & your day.
EVEN IF i'm not there!

i want to be able to look at my phone
& smile because you thought of me.
talking to me shouldn't feel like a chore.

i just don't understand..
all i want is to feel wanted.

what the hell am i doing wrong?

what the fuck else is new?

i'm slowly beginning to give up on RI.
this state sucks BUTT.
& so do most of the people, no offense.
it's friday night, & what am i stuck doing?
fucking blogging.
i just wana go out & have a lil' fun.
but it's like asking some random person for a million dollars;
THE CHANCES OF THEM GIVING IT TO YOU ARE SLIM TO NONE!
i'm still waiting for an epic night to occur in the summer of 2010.
shit, just throw me a second job my way, & a bottle to celebrate.
i'll shut the fuck up, i promise.

FUCK YOU rhode island.

keep up with me,

in real life.
'cause my blog will only get you so far.

in my defense.. not that i really needed to defend myself tho.

my state is so small.
i never realized how many damn people in Rhode Island disliked me.
i just wanted to tell you though,
i love you all.
especially the ones who think they know me,
and the ones who tell their friends not to hang with me
just because of what they've heard..
but haven't any idea of what i'm really like.

yo. i'm actually doing something with my life.
and going places.
so before they tell people not to be my friend,
they should be giving them legitimate advice like:
DON'T DO DRUGS.
STAY IN SCHOOL.
or, THAT SHIRT DOESN'T GO WITH YER OUTFIT.
kus i'm the last thing people need to worry about.

get to know me, i'm not that bad!
i promise.

♥ Cakes

speaking of American Dreams,

check out my boyfriend's new single, "customer service".
i posted it a few entries ago, not sure if the link worked.
or if any of you actually clicked to listen.
if you like reading my blog,
you'll like listening to this song :)
it's one of my favorites..
click the link below

customer service by KIT

i avoided the Coke game & went with Sprite instead.

i've been avoiding you for some time now..
it's been 7 days, & everyday i wonder what i'm going to blog about.
looking at my previous entries, they were all based on negative emotions;
almost.
they had to with either sadness, anger, bitterness ...or love.
i guess i'm just a troubled 20 year old,
who still reacts off of her emotions, & madly in love.
maybe mildly bi-polar.
i swear i don't even feel like i'm 20.
sounds weird whenever someone asks how old i am.
"i'm 20." -- feeling like i'm still 18, i wanna say.
time flies man.
it's been a whole year already that you've been in my life?
the fuck! where does all the time go..
trash goes to a dump site or landfill.
but.. what about time?
what's good with some roll-over minutes,
for every minute not spent doing anything productive?

i had a brief talk with a friend today.
i asked him what he's doing with himself, & life.
and it was the typical "i'm self employed" rhode islander answer.
WHY, though?
i told him i don't even wana be famous..
just successful.
i don't think that's asking for much.
but somehow, it still is.
then he said: "WELCOME TO THE AMERICAN DREAM.
WHERE THE AMERICAN DREAM IS OVERRATED".
this rhode islander, with his typical RI response, said something right.
but even then..
you won't ever see me giving up on myself.
i will never sell my self short.
i will never settle for selling drugs.
i'm gonna try.
& fight.
til the day i die.
'cause it's this "American Dream" that's been keeping me alive.

...even if it is all in my head.