i've been avoiding you for some time now..
it's been 7 days, & everyday i wonder what i'm going to blog about.
looking at my previous entries, they were all based on negative emotions;
almost.
they had to with either sadness, anger, bitterness ...or love.
i guess i'm just a troubled 20 year old,
who still reacts off of her emotions, & madly in love.
maybe mildly bi-polar.
i swear i don't even feel like i'm 20.
sounds weird whenever someone asks how old i am.
"i'm 20." -- feeling like i'm still 18, i wanna say.
time flies man.
it's been a whole year already that you've been in my life?
the fuck! where does all the time go..
trash goes to a dump site or landfill.
but.. what about time?
what's good with some roll-over minutes,
for every minute not spent doing anything productive?
i had a brief talk with a friend today.
i asked him what he's doing with himself, & life.
and it was the typical "i'm self employed" rhode islander answer.
WHY, though?
i told him i don't even wana be famous..
just successful.
i don't think that's asking for much.
but somehow, it still is.
then he said: "WELCOME TO THE AMERICAN DREAM.
WHERE THE AMERICAN DREAM IS OVERRATED".
this rhode islander, with his typical RI response, said something right.
but even then..
you won't ever see me giving up on myself.
i will never sell my self short.
i will never settle for selling drugs.
i'm gonna try.
& fight.
til the day i die.
'cause it's this "American Dream" that's been keeping me alive.
...even if it is all in my head.
