..finally, some good fortune! & swedish fish from the red sea.

"my stamina is sugar, & it's love love forever y'all."

love;
the greatest gift one can give to any living thing.
last time i checked,
the polite thing to do when a gift is received is to say thank you.
so where the fuck are my manners? 
i just hope my love in return is sufficient.

to have a long lasting relationship..

you must have a 5:1 ratio.
for every negative thought you have about your loved one,
you should have atleast 5 positve thoughts.

positive interactions:
touch,
a phonecall,
or just the plain thought of them.
the smallest things,  make the biggest difference.
- CBS News.

"i wear my ♥ on my sleeve like it's the new fashion."

^ and that was my fashion post for the day.

what i didn't get the chance to say..

i think i might go crazy in the beginning.
i'm just afraid of not having somebody to talk to..
and someone to say goodnight to every night.
i don't wana tell anyone else goodnight.
i don't wana go looking for someone else to say goodnight to either :/
who will i tell when i recieve good news?
what about bad news?
FUCK A BLOG!
i just want somebody there.
& not just any somebody.

but i mean, ....i got this.
i'll be fine. *pounds chest*

the spotlight

ain't nothing without you.
patience, Debbie.

i've been having a few good things come my way lately.
the start of my blog.
moving into my sister's finally.
designers asking me to model for them.
photographers wanting to do shoots with me.
keeping busy, yessssssss!
man, all i need now is that second job.
i wana know what it feels like to not have enough hours in the day.
maybe then i'll understand.

in my very first blog entry, i know i talked smack about modeling.
not hating on it particularly.
but basically saying it's not what i want to do.
i figure i gotta start somewhere in this field of fashion, right?
i'll learn a few things..
then put them to use later.
i want to work in every area fashion has to offer.
until i am doing what it is exactly that i dream of doing....
i will not stop <33.

she like..

"what have you done for me lately?
..idk, i thought you were my baby?
lately, she been acting all crazy.
breathing in my face, all hot no AC.
i'm thinking, maybe it's me.
i musta signed the dotted line
without reading the extra fees.
geese if i woulda knew nagging & complaining
were in the small print,
i never woulda signed that shit!
but since i'm in a binding contract,
with all the love i give out, i expect a little back.
i mean, i'll take like 65% of that,
haa & that includes hittin' that ;)
no 'where yah ats'
or 'wha cha doing'
or even having thoughts of who im screwing!
other than you, who else could it be?
i didn't know love came with so many insecurities.

i'm giving you bad customer service,
i'm giving you bad customer service,
you aint't pay, or even deserve this."

- K.I.T. / my boyfriend. ..the beat goes in, & the lyrics are real.

funny that this is one of my favorite songs now.. every word hits me.
maybe because it's so true. played it atleast 7x today.

listen to it here :P

p.s. if you're reading this,
"sorry" is getting too played out.
i've decided i will no longer be needing that word.
i know.. actions speak louder than words.
my actions, & yours.

a wise soul once told me, who told him..

that no matter how madly in love one is,
there will be a day that you will come to realize,
you do not need that person.

that's cool.
'cause i think i'd rather be wanted, anyway.
desire shows how much more a person cares.

to need is to become dependent of; to be used.
to want is to desire the acceptance of something.
or in this case, someone.

♥

hey blog

you've just become my new best friend :]
i think it's great that you love to hear how i feel.
and i can tell you whatever i want without you getting upset or feeling some type of way.
thankyou, for taking this load off of my shoulders.


xoxo, Cakes <33

fucking, dear diary. 6:49 am

i'm so sick of this shit. this house, this WOMAN.
barely slept last night.
& i hafto be up for 8:30 am anyway.
i need Boston, like right now.
i won't wake up in tears there because of her.
NOOOO i don't wana hear your stupid antics,
or your Bible scriptures, or your voice piercing thru my mind.
my headache's back, thanks.
i had it since 6pm yesterday, til i fell asleep.
i'm starting to think i'm prone to migraines.
my body is drained, it hurts. my brain hurts.
i can't believe my lazy ass still hasn't left to my sister's.
i could have avoided all this.
i'm gona be at the beach today with bags under my eyes.
better than being here i guess.
atleast i'll have juliana & edgar.
wish i had you.
i wish i had my phone on.
maybe i wouldna had sucha bad night/morning.
i woulda had someone to talk to.
só quero alguém para com quem falar, that's all.
shit's so upside down right now man.
& my eyes are burning.

jnhbegq32ik45uyhw

i feel like deleting my "a letter to Our Past" entry.
a fucking waste.

nah i lied, i needa start doing things for me,
instead of feeding off of people's reactions.
..or non-reactions.
who cares what the next thinks.
i care too much, i swear.

love -

i want more of it.
GIVE ME MORE.
they say too much of something can kill you.




bury me in it.

"this higher education, welcome to high school!" --i mean college.

"Information is power.

If you don't have the information,

One cannot see his power.
you need to think about
being mentally competetive.
...used intelligently, a pawn can create a checkmate."

- Professor Maurice Phipps
from the movie, Higher Learning

true story, SO GO SCHOOL YOURSELVES!

& um you don't hafto be in school to learn something.

nothing wrong with teaching your brain on your own.

pick up a book.. do some research.

you'll be surprised by what you find.

anyway, this is a 1995 classic, starring Omar Epps. along with Laurence Fishburne, Ice Cube, Busta Rhymes & the sexy Tyra Banks in her prime. this movie deals with racism (those stupid skin heads -_-), gender, sexuality, fitting in, & just LIFE period. it also had some 90's fashion that made me giggle a little :P watching this movie made me appreciate being in college & the times we live in today -even tho society still sucks! i was lucky to catch it on FUSE tonight.. great movie, watch it if you haven't yet. & if you have, watch it again. you won't regret it. promise.

damn maaaaaan,

this shit's starting to sound like a diary/poetry slam blog.
let me stop while i'm ahead.


THANKS FOR READING THO, if you have :)

a letter to Our Past.

i've decided that it's going on my shoulder,
facing towards my collar bone.
it's going to represent him, us, and the future.
the future, where you have no part in.
it'll go on my right side because on my left i have a milk-spot birth mark that i adore.. have you seen it?
but anyway. this feeling i have, it's almost crazy.
so much that it affects me when others interfere.

over the years, i THOUGHT i knew what it felt like,

to know that feeling when somebody interfered.

but i didn't.

& i can no longer deny these feelings,
as much as i try to refuse them.
this is real, LOVE is REAL!
jealousy.
envy.
bitterness.
resentment.
yes, resentment.
these are all the things that come with love.
so when someone from the past tries to come in & (unconsciously) break what i've built up.....
oh, it enrages me.
but quietly.

yes i know where i stand in his eyes,
& i know i'm not coming down from this high horse anytime soon.
i don't ever plan to, actually.
but did you know that?
'cause you're disrepecting me, disrespecting US..
without even knowing what you're doing.
so cut the shit.

Sincerely,

Deborah R. Rodrigues

(i sign my name in full when it is a matter i feel strongly about)

P.s. the past is your place. & the human brain has this thing called memories.

keep them there with you.

in the past.

just a friendly reminder.

spaz -noun
1. a grotesquely awkward person
2. an eccentric person

definition number two.

1. a fit or attack, a strong reaction to a bad or funny situation.
2. a total jerk; someone who overreacts to something.

- note to self: do not spaz. it's not pretty.

- msg to you: i'm sorry, ily.

broke, but still in one piece.

poor, but still rich in creativity, knowledge, & love.
my phone got shut off today..
& my parents wanna sell the house.
how does mortgage jump from $900 to $1300?
i'm moving to my sister's house today, 5 mins down the road.
a second job is necessary.
or maybe a new job, period.
full time preferably; i got plenty time on my hands.
funny how i am self entitled debbie cakes.
why lie? i ain't even caking ..lol


new job blog to follow.

i'm a fiend, what can i say?

CONTACT ME, tehee!
www.twitter.com/debcakesxo
www.facebook.com/debcakesxo

k.. i guess i can go to bed now since it's 5am.
this stupid blogspot crap doesn't post the right times, sheesh! :/

oh & if you get a chance

peep some of the blogs i actually read.
my friends are pretty damn dope man..
i am proud to be in their realm!

http://lovevillain.blogspot.com/
http://blackwhiteandsequinsallover.blogspot.com/
http://thefashionevolution.tumblr.com/

and check out my boyfriend's site even though he's currently working on his new one :)
http://theoceanstategreat.com/

much Love & Respect to you guys.

my url & the title of my blog.

i mean.. i know it's super duper long. but it's in Latin, & i love it.
i typed in the word fashion one day awhile back into dictionary.com
& a bunch of synonyms came up. modus operandi stuck out most, though.
i will murder you with my wardrobe. just hop into my closest :)
and then the title.. Never in an orderly fashion,
only because i have no order, in anything i do.
i'd wear my shoe as an earring if it didn't hurt.

my thought process is backwards,
& my mindset is forward.
fuck with me.

model? no. icon? YES.

pretty face, decent height, long legs, and a mean strut.
but who the fuck said i wanted to be a model?
yup, this is my first blog post. third actually..
(i erased the first two back in march/april, didn't know wth i was doing.)
this may come off as cocky, & you may not like me for it.
but i don't care, just keep liking what i wear;
because i guarantee it'll eventually make you like me.
and if you don't?
you'll still follow me.


so here's the scoop! fashion, photography, music and Love make me orgasm.
i might as well have said the word art & it would've summed it all up.
wanna know something funny? i hate getting dressed.
but i tap into my creativity more & more when i do.
i love it just as much as i hate it -_-
& my bedroom looks like WW3 between my clothing & me.
my shoes are grenades, and my clothes are quicksand ...in Vietnam.
enter with caution.


but yea, like i was saying in the title.
i love this so called "modeling" & taking pictures & all that snazzy shit.
but i'm not getting paid for it. i'm not stick thin weighing in at 110 lbs.
nor living in LA or NY looking to get fucking scouted by an agency.
i'm a solid 140 (give or take), who simply likes to mix & match my clothes.
more mixing please though, 'cause matching makes me nauseous.
i rather take YOU shopping, and dress YOU for a photo shoot..
it's waaay more fun. AND THAT'S SOMETHING I CAN GET PAID FOR.
Fashion Merchandising is what i'm getting my degree in.
i want to become a stylist..
and in between, i will pursue fashion photography.
oh God how i wish i could draw.............
i envy those who can --but it's an admiring envy.
blessed, you talented motherfuckers are!
i'm gona pick up a pencil one day & see what happens, fuck it.


ANYWAY. back to me talking about me.
i am going to be an icon. even if it's only in RI or MA.
but an icon, i will be.